Reverse Life Cycle for Moms

There is a quote by a man named Robert Benson called The Life Cycle and I've seen it floating around the internet for quite a few years. This probably means you all have seen it already also but in case you haven't...drum roll please...

“I think that the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get that out of the way, then live twenty years in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You go to college until you’re ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a little child, you play, you have no responsibilities, You become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating, and you finish off as a gleam in someone’s eye!”

I thought this was quite amusing the first time I read it, probably 10 or 15 odd years ago. It still gives me a little chuckle but it occurred to me today that it was lacking a little in relatability to my own personal life. I spent most of today making phone calls and jumping through hoops and doing laps in preparation for jumping others in reference to my kids' various healthcare needs. I was feeling ever so slightly (intensely) exasperated by the fact that moms don't receive training for this stuff. I know that the idea that there isn't a manual is not original but I guess what I was really thinking about was a mommy internship. 

So here's my take on Benson's idea.

Reverse Life Cycle for Moms

“I think that the life cycle is all backward. You should die first, get that out of the way, then live twenty years in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you celebrate 50 years of marriage. You receive diamond earrings from your husband, endless praise from your adoring children and go on a trip to Italy. You watch your grandchildren being raised until you know enough to raise your own children. Now you get a diamond ring to go with your earrings. You go to college until you’re ready for high school. You go to grade school, become a little child, you play, you have no responsibilities. You become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating, and you finish off as a gleam in someone’s eye!”

Marriage Advice Printable

When Kevin and I got married we received an 8x10 framed copy of a "Recipe for 'A Happy Marriage." After my Seinfeld post last week I was reminded of that recipe (which we have hanging in our kitchen) and decided to re-vamp and share it. I've actually seen several other versions of this same idea but I think it bears repeating. 

Click. Save. Print.

This printable is formatted for a 4x6 card. You can try printing it larger but the quality won't be as good.

Digital scrapbook elements found at ShabbyPrincess.com - Holiday Recipe Collection

Seinfeldian Thoughts on Marriage

I heard a great talk at church a few weeks ago about marriage and things we can do to make it better. General kindness is a good one, communication is great, too. Sitting in the chapel, listening to this talk, I was reminded of Jerry Seinfeld. Might sound strange but Seinfeld has some of the best advice on marriage I've ever heard.

"Don't be such a good accountant."

I'm pretty sure the first place I heard him say this was over a year ago on an Oprah episode they did about Seinfeld's (then upcoming) show The Marriage Ref. Here's a link to the Oprah.com article about that episode. They mention this particular quote on page 10. He's talking to a woman whose husband "never" changes the toilet paper roll and he's basically telling her to chill. Don't count the number of times your spouse takes out the trash compared to the number of times you do. That's not helping anything.

Great advice. When it comes to little things like putting the empty ice cream container back in the freezer, is it really the end of the world? I know if I do something like that I'm not trying to annoy Kevin and I know the reverse is true and he's not trying to annoy me. So why should I try to make him feel bad about something that doesn't really add up to much in the long run? Is it worth picking a fight with your spouse when you could just as easily choose to get over it?

I'm obviously not a perfect wife but this is something I try to work on. I'm glad I have Seinfeld's voice in my head helping me be a better person. :-)