I would absolutely recommend bringing a car seat for your 3 year old on a plane.
For one thing, the familiarity and a feeling of security help a lot (this is especially true for children with Autism). And, at
least for my son, who is very small for his age, the lap-only belt on the plane
seat wouldn't do a ding dang thing to hold him in place, whether the cause of
sudden movement was hyperactivity or turbulence.
First thing to do if you're going to bring her car seat is
find the notice on the car seat that says it's certified for use in motor
vehicles and aircraft. Make a mental note where that sticker is located because
there is a chance you will encounter a snotty flight attendant who will try to
tell you that you can't use a car seat on an airplane. Then you can politely
tell her that yes, yes, you can, because there is a law saying qualified car
seats must be allowed and here's the sticker saying this particular seat
qualifies.
Since I occasionally (more often than not) travel alone with my kids it would be physically impossible for me to carry a car seat in
addition to holding onto my two boys AND carry-on bags. So, I bring a regular stroller
with me and I use the toddler car seat's "latch" straps to hang it
off the back of the stroller. This is not for a child to ride in, it is just
to carry the car seat through the airport. Most airlines
allow you to check a stroller at the gate at no additional cost and you'll get
it back as soon as you get off the plane. You will have to unlatch the car seat at security and put it and the stroller on the belt for the x-ray scanner with everything else.
I also accept help whenever I can get it. If someone notices
that I'm struggling at the bottom of the gangway, juggling two small kids (one who doesn't want to get out of the stroller and one squirming to get down off my hip), a car seat, a back pack and a
huge diaper bag, and offers to carry something on board the plane, I let them.
If no one offers, I ask a flight attendant. It sounds like you'll have adult
help already and I would advise you to depend on them.
Whether I bring a car seat or not, if I'm traveling with kids, I bring the standard boredom busters and snacks. (Playing movies on our iPad allows me freedom our fore-mothers couldn't even dream of.) Of course, I give myself extra time
to get through security and I don't even attempt to be the first person off the
plane. If I'm not in a rush I'm almost guaranteed to work more efficiently and
therefore, in the end, more quickly. It also helps my kids' tantrums not to escalate as quickly if I make a conscious choice to be calm and nonchalant. This last trip I was literally the last
person off because I waited patiently for everyone else to make room for the
flight attendants to get to me and carry the things I didn't have hands for.
I may be the nightmare of the business man who is used to booking it through security (Hi, Dad! ☺) but this is what works best for me and my boys. If I'm holding you up, Mr. Late For His Flight, offer to fold my stroller for me and be grateful that Alexander is the one having the meltdown because MY meltdowns aren't as sweet.
