Thursday, May 3, 2012

Teacher Appreciation Questionnaire

A Little Backstory:
As you may remember, Alexander is 3 and this past year (2011-2012) was his first year of school. He has Autism and is in the special needs pre-school program in our county. Putting him in school this young was a pretty scary step for me, so his teachers being as awesome as they are wasn't just a nice lucky surprise but a fantastically wonderful relief! 

After realizing just this past Monday that Teacher Appreciation week would shortly be upon us (next week!), I immediately set to Googling and browsing Pinterest for some great creative gift ideas. I spent about 30 minutes (ok, maybe it was an hour, Pinterest time never quite equals reality time) pulling together a few things on my newly created Teacher Appreciation week board. I found a lot of really cute, inexpensive ideas that I'd love to try. I feel like I owe a particular debt of gratitude to the team that made his first year so pleasant (for both of us) though so I found it difficult to make up my mind on what I would like to give. I did more research and found several surveys, a helpful slide show and one particularly interesting infographic --->
(Right click and open in new tab to view full size)

The general consensus I discovered from my research showed that teachers most often prefer fairly practical gifts (gift cards and school supplies) to cutesy personalized mugs and apple oriented crafts. It was also pointed out that the best way to know what a teacher will really like...is to ask her! (or him.) Quite the novel concept, I know, but I decided to run with it. 

I now knew that I was going to get Alexander's school teachers (he has 3: 1 teacher, 1 parapro, 1 speech therapist) gift cards and I was going to ask them flat out what they would like the gift cards to be for. Of course, I also knew that if I just asked them a generic "what would you like for a gift" question, they would probably say something to the effect of, "oh, you don't have to get us anything," or "oh, anything is fine." I figured it would be easiest to write something up and have them make selections versus asking them individually in person. And so the Alexander's Teachers Questionnaire was born!
***

Alexander’s Teachers Questionnaire 

Teacher’s Name: _________________________________________________

Favorite Restaurants: (Circle Top Two)

Chili’s
On the Border
Red Robin
Applebees
T.G.I.Fridays
Olive Garden
Macaroni Grill
Longhorn Steakhouse
Outback Steakhouse
Red Lobster
P.F. Changs
Starbucks
Dunkin Donuts
Other: (Please list) ________________

Favorite School Supply Store: (Circle One)
Walmart
Kmart
Office Depot
Amazon.com
Barnes and Noble
Target 

How would you rate Getting a Manicure/Pedicure or Massage on a scale of 1-10? (1 = Hurts and I hate it / 10 = Heaven on earth) _______

Please rate going out to eat, shopping for school supplies, and getting a mani/pedi in order of “Most Interested/Preferred Activity.” ______________________________________________________________________________

Anything else Alexander should know about you as Teacher Appreciation Week approaches?
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

***
I added the Mani/Pedi option after really giving some thought to what I (as a woman and mother) would most like to receive as a gift. Both Alexander's teacher and his parapro rated the mani/pedi as their most preferred activity so I figure I had a good idea. I shot them an email this morning asking if either of them had a favorite nail salon. They came back saying that yes they did and also how much they appreciated my kindness! I'm so glad I went with asking instead of continuing my desperate brain wracking trying to guess which things they would like best!

Due to the success of my little experiment, here is a similar questionnaire for those of you out there who find yourself wondering what to get for those hard working teachers we love so much! (Click here for a google doc version)
(jpeg format)

(I know the mani/pedi part probably wouldn't work for a man teacher but hey you never know!)

Don't be embarrassed to ask a teacher to fill this out! Unless you're the exception to the rule and see your child's teacher outside of school on a regular basis, you probably haven't really had the opportunity to become best friends. This means there's no reason in the world why you should have the first clue what his/her favorite restaurant would be, etc. I think offering them an opportunity to tell you what they would like most is really the most considerate way to go about this, and the teachers in your life will probably agree and appreciate that gesture in and of itself.

I'm sooo happy to have the chance to give these wonderful ladies a hint at how much their work has meant to our family this year! I hope they already know how wonderful I think they are!


Wednesday, April 18, 2012

How I Roll

Last week I took my boys on a flight to Kansas City. I've actually flown alone (no other adults) with my kids several times in the past few years and I've got the procedure down pretty well, I think. When I saw a post on myautismteam.com asking about taking a 3 year old on a plane trip (and whether or not it's worth it to bring a car seat along), I found myself composing quite a lengthy response. Once I hit the 5th paragraph, I decided it might be more efficient to turn that comment into a blog post and just link to it on myaustimteam. So here it is!


I would absolutely recommend bringing a car seat for your 3 year old on a plane. For one thing, the familiarity and a feeling of security help a lot (this is especially true for children with Autism). And, at least for my son, who is very small for his age, the lap-only belt on the plane seat wouldn't do a ding dang thing to hold him in place, whether the cause of sudden movement was hyperactivity or turbulence.

First thing to do if you're going to bring her car seat is find the notice on the car seat that says it's certified for use in motor vehicles and aircraft. Make a mental note where that sticker is located because there is a chance you will encounter a snotty flight attendant who will try to tell you that you can't use a car seat on an airplane. Then you can politely tell her that yes, yes, you can, because there is a law saying qualified car seats must be allowed and here's the sticker saying this particular seat qualifies.

Since I occasionally (more often than not) travel alone with my kids it would be physically impossible for me to carry a car seat in addition to holding onto my two boys AND carry-on bags. So, I bring a regular stroller with me and I use the toddler car seat's "latch" straps to hang it off the back of the stroller. This is not for a child to ride in, it is just to carry the car seat through the airport. Most airlines allow you to check a stroller at the gate at no additional cost and you'll get it back as soon as you get off the plane. You will have to unlatch the car seat at security and put it and the stroller on the belt for the x-ray scanner with everything else. (Side tip: The weight of the car seat *will* tip the stroller over if the stroller is empty, so unlatch the car seat before trying to take your child out if you want to avoid embarrassment and frustration.) 

I also accept help whenever I can get it. If someone notices that I'm struggling at the bottom of the gangway, juggling two small kids (one who doesn't want to get out of the stroller and one squirming to get down off my hip), a car seat, a back pack and a huge diaper bag, and offers to carry something on board the plane, I let them. If no one offers, I ask a flight attendant. It sounds like you'll have adult help already and I would advise you to depend on them. 

Whether I bring a car seat or not, if I'm traveling with kids, I bring the standard boredom busters and snacks. (Playing movies on our iPad allows me freedom our fore-mothers couldn't even dream of.) Of course, I give myself extra time to get through security and I don't even attempt to be the first person off the plane. If I'm not in a rush I'm almost guaranteed to work more efficiently and therefore, in the end, more quickly. It also helps my kids' tantrums not to escalate as quickly if I make a conscious choice to be calm and nonchalant. This last trip I was literally the last person off because I waited patiently for everyone else to make room for the flight attendants to get to me and carry the things I didn't have hands for. 

I may be the nightmare of the business man who is used to booking it through security (Hi, Dad! ☺) but this is what works best for me and my boys. If I'm holding you up, Mr. Late For His Flight, offer to fold my stroller for me and be grateful that Alexander is the one having the meltdown because MY meltdowns aren't as sweet.


Friday, March 23, 2012

Boredom Busters (Probably will only work for me)


5 things I'm allowed to do when I "don't have anything better to do."

-Practice drawing with 5 Pencil Method Classes

-Study Tagalog with my Rosetta Stone software (my brother, Brian, is on a mission in the Phillipines and I want to be fluent by the time he gets home.)

-Write to Brian and/or compile care packages to send him

-Work on my Etsy store (I'll post more about this as it materializes.)

-Read the book club book for the month

These are things that I always enjoy doing but are also working toward minor goals. It's meant to be a line of defense between me and some of my old bad habits that might keep me from finding time for my "Duhs."

Thursday, March 22, 2012

"Duhs"

I've made a lot of lists in the past few weeks. Making lists helps me cut down on stress because if I have something important to do, but don't write it down, it plays in may head repeated until I do. Worse than having Rebecca Black's "Friday" stuck in your head. To help me hone in on what's most important, I've been making even more extensive lists than usual so I have less things floating around my brain and distracting me. Shopping Lists, Wish Lists, To-Do Lists, To-Don't Lists, etc. All kind of like Dumbledore's Pensieve. Once I get something out of my brain, it's easier to decipher and deal with.

One of my lists ended up with the title "Duhs" at the top of it. This was a list of things that I should be doing regularly (if not every day). The list includes but is not limited to:
Mommy/Son therapy time
Mommy/Son snuggle/giggle time
Mommy cooking practice
Exercise
Weekday Cleaning Schedule

The list doesn't actually contain that many lofty goals if I were to really focus on what's most important and not let bad habits and laziness run my life. Some of the items I'm already good at and some I'm not. Some of them are really vital and others could be skipped, but I'm learning that I'd rather not suffer the consequences that come from letting them go completely.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

FlyBaby

Lately I've been working on refocusing my energies on my family and our house. I still need to be able to take time and recharge my own batteries and cultivate some "non-essential" talents. But I'm trying to go about daily life more on purpose than I used to. Basically I was miserable for about two months after we got Alexander's diagnosis. Then I realized that a lot of my old habits just aren't sustainable amidst these new challenges (ex. sitting on facebook for extended periods of time does not give me a boost of energy or help me feel motivated to "get back to the day." It sucks me in and I'm lucky if I resurface before the boys have added 25 more things to my cleaning list.) I simply have to grow or I'm going to be crushed by the onslaught of "stuff I have to do" and suffocated by my own feelings and reactions. This does not mean that all of the sudden, two weeks ago, I became a perfect, glorified being. Everybody else, even Kevin, may not have noticed that big a difference in me from February to March. But I've noticed a difference. I'm not "happier than I've ever been" but I'm definitely happier than I was a month ago.

I signed up at FlyLady.net and diligently implemented the first two baby steps (Shine Your Sink and Dress to Shoes). Since then I haven't even visited the site again but I also haven't needed to. I have NOT kept my sink shiny-clean the way she says to but I have embraced the Getting Dressed to Shoes concept. It really is just like she says, I think twice before laying down for a snooze on the couch if I have my lace up shoes on. And I don't have any excuse for not going outside to play with the kids, or running to the store, or walking the trash can to the curb. Once again, people may not notice a difference when they come to my house in the level of its cleanliness, but I feel like there's a difference. I've gotten several Spring Cleaning/Organization projects done and I really feel like I owe it to my shoes. The dishes and laundry still pile up a bit but I feel slightly more empowered to handle it. And let me just tell you, spiders don't give me quite the same panic attack when I'm wearing my sneaks.

There's also a different mindset that comes with getting fully dressed as if I was really going to work (teeth brushed, makeup and deodorant on, the whole nine yards). I get in a groove, I put on my Hilary Weeks or Josh Groban Pandora station. I'm better at plowing through the chores and minutia and just getting it over with instead of letting it take up the whole day. This obviously leaves more time for other more pleasant endeavors. I've played outside with my kids more in the past couple of weeks than I ever have before. The early arrival of Spring, I'm sure, has also contributed to this development, but I'm just more motivated in myself than I've been in a while.

I guess you could say I look at all of this as evolution. My to-do lists have changed, my goals have changed, even my prayers have changed. They kind of just had to. And I'm grateful for the grace I know I've been given. I couldn't have gotten even to this point on my own.

"I ain't as good as I'm gonna get, but I'm better than I used to be."



Monday, March 19, 2012

Katie Beckett Continued

**The following post is documentation of a personal experience with applying for the Katie Beckett Deeming Waiver in the State of Georgia, Barrow County. This information is given only as an example and is in no way a guarantee of like experience. The author is not a representative of the State of GA, Barrow County, or DFCS. The forms and procedures listed can (and probably will) go out of date without any note on this blog.**

Since I wrote last it has been approximately 45 days. This was the turn-around-time estimate given to me by my DFCS caseworker. Sure enough, I received Alexander's letter of APPROVAL (yay!) yesterday via certified mail. My caseworker also called me with the good news. So now that I'm personally out of those particular woods (my to-do list actually just got bigger, not smaller, with this new development) I wanted to update my Katie Beckett (Deeming Waiver) Checklist. So I did that but now here is the rundown of the experiences that helped me remember what I didn't include before.

- I can't believe I forgot to include the Psychological Eval in my checklist AND in my packet! This would be the report you received/will receive when you got/get a diagnosis of Autism from your (insert specialist here: we used a Neurodevelopmental Pediatrician). I worked for months to get the diagnosis and waited with bated breath to receive the report and then when it came time to hand in Alexander's Katie Beckett packet, I left the thing out. But it obviously wasn't the end of the world. Even my caseworker forgot to include a request for it in his first round of "you left this out." So I got a call from him a few days later asking for it. I pointed out that he hadn't made any note about it being missing on my Verification Checklist and he apologized and said he'd be sending me a new Verification Checklist. (Which he did.)

- Realizing the above oversight also reminded me that I didn't really go over the fact that you can't just go to a regular pediatrician to get an Autism diagnosis. In my experience, there wasn't a single person (doctor, therapist, special ed teacher, etc.) who would even say the word Autism in my presence without me bringing it up first. And then they would either say they didn't think he had Autism (which I believe was their honest opinion) or explain that they didn't have the authority to make that call (in which case I wondered if that meant they thought he might have it). This is because of mal-practice lawsuits. The people around you are protecting their butts by not expressing opinions about what your child "has." You can't really hold this against them with the way lawsuits work today (I mean, even I felt compelled to write a disclaimer at the top of these checklist posts), but the knowledge you should take from this is as follows: Find yourself a Neurodevelopmental Pediatrician, Developmental Pediatrician, or Developmental Psychologist. These are the people who CAN make that call. (There may be other specialties that also have that "power" but I don't know what they are.)

- Somehow, I really don't know how (I was reeeeally OCD about this paperwork, so I totally don't get it), I missed a signature line on the Level of Care Statement before I sent it in. This meant that a couple weeks later I received a Technical Denial of Services. (ack!) A Technical Denial means just that, a technicality is holding up the proceedings and you won't be able to get approved until it's fixed. This letter came via certified mail with a photo-copy of my filled-out Level of Care Statement for me to sign and return. Really not a big deal but I actually almost missed picking the letter up at the post office before it was returned to the sender. See, you have to sign for certified mail and apparently I didn't hear the door both days they tried to deliver it, hence a trip to the post office. So, I guess there are two lessons here -

#1) Have a buddy (a fresh set of eyes) look over the paperwork before you send it in to make sure you dotted all the i's and stuff.

#2) When your waiting for your Deeming Waiver Determination, assume that all certified letters coming in the mail are probably going to be about that! I totally thought the certified letter was something for my husband and when he didn't seem to know what it was, I figured it wasn't very important and decided to not stress myself out about going to retrieve it from the post office - ! Man, I can be a ditz sometimes.


Saturday, February 25, 2012

Wisdom

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that."
Albus Dumbledore - Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Katie Beckett (Deeming Waiver) Checklist

**The following post is documentation of a personal experience with applying for the Katie Beckett Deeming Waiver in the State of Georgia, Barrow County. This information is given only as an example and is in no way a guarantee of like experience. The author is not a representative of the State of GA, Barrow County, or DFCS. The forms and procedures listed can (and probably will) go out of date without any note on this blog.**

**Updated 3/17/2012**

I wanted to take a minute and reach out to those parents (in Georgia specifically) that are starting to navigate the process of seeking government aid for their child with Autism (or other disability). I am by no means finished with the road I'm on but, knowing the work it took even to get to this point, I want to help others on their way.
***
Brief History (taken from CHOA Deeming Waiver Information)
The Deeming Waiver is a type of Medicaid that helps to cover the costs of medical treatment and therapeutic services for children with physical or developmental disabilities. Before the Deeming Waiver, the government would subsidize care for a disabled child ONLY if the child was placed in a state institution. In 1981, the parents of Katie Beckett fought to get financial assistance while caring for their child at home. Now, the Deeming Waiver is helpful to families who make “too much ” to receive financially based Medicaid, but who need expensive services for their special needs children. 
***
Back at the beginning of January, I shared this post on my family blog about my son Alexander's diagnosis of Autism and some of the resources we were looking into. I included a link to the CHOA Deeming Waiver Checklist I was using (in addition to some other links). While that checklist has a lot of good information (you'll see it peppered through this whole post), it is also sorely out of date (which I had a suspicion it might be). I ended up turning in one form that wasn't even needed and leaving out 2 forms that were needed in Alexander's application. So, after all of that, our new case worker (who wasn't assigned to us until I made the initial application) sent me a new checklist and the forms I was missing.

The following checklist can be found online at http://dhr.state.ga.us by searching for "Katie Beckett Cover Letter." The cover letter itself is a .doc file that will instantly download when you click on it (at least that's what it did for me). Here's that instant download link: Georgia Department of Human Services: Katie Beckett Cover Letter. All of the forms listed in the checklist can be found by visiting http://dhr.state.ga.us and searching for them by name/number. I've also linked each form name to its appropriate instant download page.

(Don't click the links in the checklists if you don't want the forms to download right away.)

q  Medicaid Application, Form 700, (answer questions as if your child was completing)
***
Other required forms/items (from the Verification Checklist):
□ Psychological (this is the report you got/will get from the specialist who gave/will give your child his/her diagnosis of Autism) **updated**
□ Health Insurance Information Questionnaire, DMA 285 (I was unable to find a link for DMA 285: see tips below)
□ GA Dept of Human Services - Notice of Privacy Practices (one for each household member over age 18)

Other required/helpful documents:
□ Copy of Child's Birth Certificate
□ Copy of Insurance Card - Front and Back
□ SSI Rejection Letter (see tips below for more info)
□ Copy of Child's IEP/IFSP (if applicable)
□ Therapy Notes?
Our case worker asked for Alexander's therapy notes to be sent with the new forms. He's in the Special Needs Public Preschool Program and he gets speech therapy there but he doesn't go to private therapy yet. So I just made copies of his school and ST progress reports and put those in as the notes. (I'm actually not quite sure if this is what they're looking for but it's all I have so we'll see.)
□ Social History?
I additionally completed and submitted a Social History for Alexander because it was listed on the CHOA Deeming Waiver Info Checklist with instructions on how to write it. I don't actually know if this was necessary because it's not mentioned anywhere on the paperwork I got back from DFCS. (I'll try to find out from my caseworker if I did that work for nothing and update this post when I know.)

A few more tips:
- **update** I don't think I made this clear before, although you may already know and if not you'll find out quickly: Your regular pediatrician will not be able to give you a diagnosis of Autism. Find yourself a Neurodevelopmental Pediatrician, Developmental Pediatrician, or Developmental Psychologist. These are the people who CAN make that call. (There may be other specialties that also have that "power" but I don't know what they are.)

- Swing by your local DFCS office to pick up the Medicaid application (they were in a rack by the door when I went). I included the link above in order to give you options but getting one from an office is really easier in the end. The application I got from the Barrow County DFCS office also contained the Health Insurance Information Questionaire, DMA 285 and the Notice of Privacy. You will need a Notice of Privacy signed by each household member over the age of 18 (so get extras if you need them). You also might want to try asking the rep at the desk if there is a "Katie Beckett Packet." The girl I asked didn't have a clue but maybe you'll get lucky and find all the paperwork I've listed laid out for you.

- Once you have your copy of the Medicaid application, write Katie Beckett/TEFRA at the top.

- To date or not to date? I've read in a couple of places online that you shouldn't date any of this paperwork before you turn it in. I then proceeded to forget and dated all my signatures. I haven't heard from my case worker if this will be a problem yet. I'll let you know what I find out. **update** Ok, what I found out: Didn't matter in my case. The caseworker never came back and said I needed to start over because I dated everything wrong, and we now officially have our APPROVAL (w00t!).

- The Verification Checklist (item #2 above) isn't really for you! It's part of the contact letter you'll receive from DFCS if you're missing things from your application. Not all the lines apply to all applicants. Here's an actual scan (with personal info cropped out) of the checklist they sent me after my initial application:

As you can see, I wasn't required to submit most of the things on that list.

- The instructions pages (for forms 706 and 6A) aren't for turning in, they're for instruction! Make sure you look them over carefully and use them to double check your work. It's just always good to read the instructions!

- (Taken and paraphrased from CHOA Deeming Waiver Information.) The Katie Beckett Waiver is not based on your family's income (it's based on the assets of the child only). So, you first must prove that you do not qualify for the Supplemental Security Income (SSI) Disability - Medicaid program which is based on your family’s income. The first step is to apply for SSI through your nearest Social Security Office. You may call them at 1-800-772-1213 to begin the application. If your child receives SSI, and, thus, Medicaid, you are finished at this point, as Medicaid provides the same benefits as the Deeming Waiver). If your child does not receive SSI and Medicaid through this program, SSI will send you a denial letter. This denial letter becomes a part of your Deeming Waiver Application (see my scanned Verification Checklist above). Make sure you do not lose it!  - - - My case worker also said that if I hadn't applied for SSI yet that he would have to do a budget to find out if I was eligible for SSI. So it's my understanding that you can do the needed work through DFCS without calling SSI first. But, that's not how I did it so I can't recommend that way. The SSI application process was all over the phone; and I got my rejection letter fairly quickly.

- If you have an appointment coming up with your child's Developmental Pediatrician (or whatever specialist gave/will give you the diagnosis) take your Katie Beckett paperwork with you. Maybe your doc won't be quite this helpful but ours took the papers out of my hands and filled out most of the physcian's parts. I still had to take them to be signed by Alexander's pediatrician (PCP) but it doesn't really matter who fills them out. And let me tell you, the pediatrician was about to burst with relief when I presented the DMA-6(A) already filled out, with his signature lines highlighted. He said most regular pediatricians don't really know what to write on those forms (which is exactly what the Dev. Ped. said while she was filling them out).

- Related ^^^ If you didn't already know this (cuz I sure as heck didn't) you can schedule an appointment with your child's doctor just for paperwork. Our pediatrician's office calls it a consultation. I much preferred doing this and leaving my boys with a babysitter rather than trying to finagle signatures out of the doctor during a well-check or something. I assume most doctors prefer this as well.

- **updated** Lastly, and yeah, probably leastly, It wouldn't be a bad idea to have a friend look over all the paperwork before you send it in to make sure you signed everywhere it says "Parent or Guardian," "Primary Care Giver," etc. I discovered it wasn't a big deal in the end but I did receive a letter from the Katie Beckett Review Nurse with a copy of a form I'd forgotten to sign. Which I promptly signed and put back in the mail.

- **updated** See my Katie Beckett Continued post

***
I really hope this post will help someone out there who's trying to work through this process. Please remember that I'm not an expert and your experience may be quite different from mine. I don't even know if we're going to get approved based on what I've sent in and we might have to try again. (**updated** We got our approval!) I'm going to work at keeping a record going on this blog so that people can benefit from our example (both what to do and what not to do) as much as possible.

Good luck!

Monday, February 6, 2012

Pencil Sketch - Part II

I did go back and try to work out some of the kinks in my sketch from the other day. I think this is the best I can do without obsessing about it and ripping the page up with my eraser. 



I really need to keep up my practicing and get better at this!

Friday, February 3, 2012

Drawing Talent

I was "tooling around" Pinterest yesterday and found a pin for free online drawing lessons. One link led to another and I found myself at fivepencilmethod.com. I signed up for the free email tutorials and started watching a few of the videos. So far I really like the format and I think I could definitely get something out of this. I think the teacher used to be a drafter and I like how thorough and systematic he is (like, he starts with the proper way to remove a sheet of paper from your tablet). I like having things broken down into finite steps, I'm all OCD like that.

Drawing is one of those things at which I "used to" have some talent. I say this about drawing (and painting, singing, playing the piano...) because when I was about 10 I was considered talented at these things but then I eventually stopped practicing and my talent stayed where it was.

Anyway, after getting a little inspiration from Mr. Darrel Tank (he is SO from Idaho) I pulled out my old sketch pad and a picture of Jacob as a little baby (he's a toddler now) and put pencil to paper for the first time in years.

Results
Both of the sketches are from the same picture. The one in the middle-left of the page was my first try, but I wasn't satisfied at all so I drew the one below it. 

Definitely not a spitting image but I was happy to see that my second try really was better. Looking at it on the computer like this is actually helping me see where some of the problems are (I'm so going to have to go back and fix his left eye now). And of course, this was just sketch paper and a #2 pencil. I've told myself that if I'm good and practice with what I have, I can save my pennies and justify spending money on nice pencils and other supplies. We'll see how that goes. 

I guess I should probably go practice the piano while the little man from the picture is napping... Either that or fold laundry. Why is it that laundry is always more pressing? I know, I'll put on Pandora and clean while I also practice my singing. :-) That should do it.